Friendship Pro-rated Fee Scale (prices subject to change) Simper = $1.50 perGrin = $1.75 perBasic Smile = $2.25 perBroad Smile = $4.00 perEye to Eye Recognition = $2.00 perHandshake = $2.00 per (w/glove on)Handshake = $3.00 (skin to skin)Being Taken Seriously = $5.00 a minutePat on the Back = $5.00 perConsolation = $7.25 a minuteChuckle at Your Jokes = $8.50 a minuteLaugh at Your Jokes = $10.00 a minuteListening to Your Self-Delusions = $15.00 a minuteCompliments = $20.00 perEncouragement = $40.00 perConfronting Inconsistencies = $50.00 perOffering a Double Entendre = $50.00 perFeigning Confusion at Your Double Entendre = $75.00 perFeigning Indifference at Your Double Entendre = $75.00 perKeeping Secrets = $75.00 perExpressing Sympathy = $125.00 an hourExpressing Love = $200.00 an hourEnduring Your Insufferable Chatter = $300.00 an hourGenuine Love = (TBD) Eugene Goldin was born in Manhattan and grew up in Queens. He was most recently published in The East Jasmine Review, Stoneboat Literary Journal, and The Subterranean Quarterly.