I. The long distance call to youstill unansweredthe round world offers nothing newI’ve been here beforeand before thatdiscovering only the dentsof previous stepsthis mission is neither rescuenor recoverythe hour has agedbeyond eitherthe round spinning clockthe round steady sunthey only move onoffering nothing but the newa lesson to study and practiceto perfectand live brilliantlybut I am not a clockand I am not the sunmy spinning memoriesmy steady heartkeep me rooted in recollectionand reveriethis grief is nothing newI’ve been here beforeand before that II. She’s a pure personalitywith no chemical additivesI envy thisas I envy the seedthat lands in fertile soilit is the will of the windand you cannot bribe the breezemy only optionwas to take root in loose graveland push my way through rocksto have a shot at the sunshe was born in a gardenwell-kept and weeded dailyallowed to grow unencumberedand fully ripenunder the protection of scarecrowsand green thumbsagainI envy thisbut am learning to respect the seedlingthat battled boulders and droughtsbattled the rocky burialof her beginningand still touched the same sovereign skyto smile back at the sun III. Have you ever killed a chorus of candlesjust to wish for one more?spent your time obsessingabout how you spent your time?do not fall in love with your deathdo not make a mistress out of mysterysuch an uneven affairhas married me to miseryseparated my thoughtsfrom the daily joys of simple existencethe sun is always settingand my plans never outlast the starscompulsive carpe diem is a curseI’ve never saved for a rainy dayor any daybeyond this oneI’m in love with my deathand such an uneven affairhas divorced me from my life Bekah Steimel is an internationally published poet living in St. Louis, MO. Her pastimes include flirting, drinking whiskey and making people uncomfortable. Find her in Deep Water Literary, Gutter Eloquence, The RPD Society, Vayavya, Verity La and more. Visit www.bekahsteimel.com.